WTF? I was half asleep when he called, but damn that woke me up quickly.

I'm still really confused about it, and literally couldn't focus in my lecture, and ended up ditching the other lecture and just going home to cry.

I called him and asked him what the deal with this was. He told me that I was too complicated. Complicated....complicated? I'm complicated, well yeah but better than being someone who doesn't have a brain cell.

Sorry I'm still angry about it all. I just don't get it.

He told me he loves me, but sometimes it's not enough.

Now that's my godamn line. I use that on guys when I break up with them. not vice versa.

He told me that I was high maitanence and he was sick and tired of not knowing what I wanted in the relationship so he was making up my mind for me.

Only problem is he made the WRONG decision. I realised last night how much I loved him.

This is the first guy I have truly loved, deeply, and madly.

So I called my best friend to bear my pain, and hope he will take the edge of my pain and you know what he says to me:

'Well maybe it's a good thing since ya know you two were kind of like heroin addicts with each other'.

As my daddy would say fuckkkkkkkkkk me dead. That wasn't what I wanted to here. Apparently we were a little too obsessive with each other. This from a guy who is permanently falling into bed with strangers and hasn't had a decent relationship in over three fucking years.

So instead of listening him telling me that the man I love was better off without me, and I was better off without him I bought two bottles of wine with Sophie and Sarah and proceeded to blast music from the rooftop and get amazingly pissed.

I sobered up by 2am, and the pain hit again.

So yeah single again, with my bleeding heart lying dirty at my feet.

Remind me never to date again, and if I do shoot me.

They say like is battle and love is war.

But damn I don't know how the hell I am supposed to recover from this.

It hurts too much, and I'm sick and tired of the pain already.

Guess justice can be a bitch huh.

Well not much to report. I think I will find me another bottle of wine, and toast myself on being a free woman.

I just wish I could actually say that with a smile, but I can't.